A Curriculum in Mediation

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Peer Mediator Training Workshop Presenter Notes - view page 20
20 Agreement Writing and Closure
Need: MITs in quads with workbooks and pen/pencil
Video cued for second view at end of this page.

PLEASE NOTE: The information below supplements the specific flow and process directions of the Student Workbook pages and is reflective of the theory and practice delineated in the 12 page pdf Conflict Management booklet. Therefore, this "teacher's guide" information, the Student Workbook information and the Conflict Management booklet work together for presenters' preparation and should be considered integral to one other. No document stands on its own from a presenter's preparation viewpoint. Use the view page ___ link above, page by page, to view related Student Workbook pages. Download the 12 page pdf Conflict Management booklet to your desktop, read it once, and have it ready as reference as you proceed with preparation.

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY

Agreement Writing, Closure & Mediation Video <20mit.pdf> (2.4 MB) [20 M8] view. Diads within a quad share their sentences and discuss their clarity and adherence to the parameters of WHO, WHAT, WHERE, etc. Diads write the other diad's sentence on their own Journal so that they have both sentences from their quad on their Journals. This gives all quad members the same information from which to review and critique their Confidential Agreement language. The final class discussion (whole class) has youngest member of quad read their quad's agreement. In the discussion, presenters point out balance and the who, what, when characteristics of the agreement points, Item 13, in the Journal. Closure has each member of the quad, in their own words, out loud, practice the ending language of the mediation. Signatures of "disputants" are gathered on the Journal. Item 14 has hints as to what needs to be said at this point. During a real mediation, if agreement is not reached, disputants are thanked for their effort and invited to try again another time, BUT, are encouraged to not to anything to worsen the dispute in the meantime. This concludes our journey through the training part of the workbook. We now watch the video one more time for CFU purposes with page MVG before us. This video is paused a number of times to enable MITs to answer the questions. Note also, that there are some appendix type items in the pages to follow--just so that they know where to find those pages later, if needed.

When we finish with this section, each MIT diad will have had the opportunity to cooperatively write one agreement-style mutually beneficial sentence "set" (or combination of two sentences) and have received some feedback from the other diad in the quad regarding their sentence "set." In real mediations, the mediator with the better writing skills may assume this task entirely and then ask for confirmation of accuracy. An important point for today, and always, is to check with disputants to see if the wording sounds right and is balanced. Correct it (and all agreement language) until we get both disputants' concurrence. Today, we ask each other within the quads. Each diad asks the other if their sentence "set" sounds complete, reasonable, balanced and fair - and still addresses the issue!

In actual mediations we have seen this sentence construction process to become an extension of the healing process as disputants see the "finish line" for their dispute and the end of the grief it has involved. Anger and upset take so much effort to maintain! The art now, is to sensitively (and resolutely) bring our process to a successful end by staying on track without stirring up issues again. We should have aired all of the anger a few steps ago, but some individuals have a hard time putting things behind them. Perhaps it's indicative of their still wanting to be "right" more than wanting to be "happy." Gently bring those disputants back to focusing on the benefits of the potentially "happy" (peaceful) outcome of this challenging agreement writing process and conclusion of this dispute. Keeping disputants on a "peaceful path" then results in a form of forgiveness--the joining together in a common goal (thought) called the AGREEMENT. Herein is found the essence of the profound potential of your mediation "masterpiece." Your efforts have allowed their minds' decision makers to choose again - agreement rather than conflict - peace rather than war--to be happy rather than "right.".

A very important point to consider in this agreement construction is that disputant needs are often different from each other AND from ours. One disputant may feel that an apology is equal in value to paying money to replace an item lost or destroyed--an example of a mutually beneficial solution concept involving, perhaps, a seemingly odd balance of material and relational elements. That might happen where the item has lost its personal value to the disputant over time (like garage sale items have, for example) and healing one's pride is of more value to the disputant at this time. We as mediators simply do not know everything there is to know about disputant's lives - and we don't need to, anyway. Go with what THEY want (within the bounds of reason and in the absence of duress) and get them to sign off on THEIR agreement. We are only here to help them do what they truly want.

In large group, the youngest MITs is each quad are asked to read their quad's sentence "sets" for class discussion. Q&A as needed.

To close the role play, and after we assume that disputants have signed their now formal AGREEMENT, each MIT (verbally aloud and within his/her quad) practices what the language of "14. Closure" suggests at the bottom of the journal. The mediator mentality here is that we know other students may try to stir things up with these disputants. Campus fights are of interest to some students and more attractive than ASB activities to them, at times. There are some seemingly mean-spirited individuals out there! The safe harbor of mediation is the better alternative to violence and may be pursued again, as needed for any future disputes. Barring the need for disputant psychotherapy, and, if we did things correctly in this mediation, the dispute is "history."

The last activity of instruction at this point is to replay our video and to revisit the Mediation Video Guide page (MVG) to see if we can answer the questions now that we've spent some time learning about mediation. We may pause the video every so often so as to give the MITs time to address the questions on MVG. It's a good CFU for presenters use. Tell quad members to help each other with answers as we continue our cooperative mediator team effort. Any questions about mediation as we have presented it?

"Housekeeping" chores now remain. The school site coordinator may either be present here and now, or have provided you (presenters) with some information about what is next for our MITs. Where will the workbooks be kept? May they take them home? Each school coordinator may decide this and how this training will be reinforced or reviewed in the coming year.

And to our MITs, be aware that leadership (being "in charge") involves knowing just a little more than those we lead. We have that little more knowledge now. Expect to be a little uncertain during your first mediations! Play the part! Support each other as you start your work. And, as we say in student teaching, "Fake it 'till you make it!" If you care at your deepest level about the people with whom you work, your thoughts, words, and deeds will be as they are meant to be.

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This page: rev26JUL07