A Curriculum in Mediation

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Peer Mediator Training Workshop Presenter Notes - view page 03
03 Let's Start Listening
Need: MITs in quads with workbooks and pen/pencil

PLEASE NOTE: The information below supplements the specific flow and process directions of the Student Workbook pages and is reflective of the theory and practice delineated in the 12 page pdf Conflict Management booklet. Therefore, this "teacher's guide" information, the Student Workbook information and the Conflict Management booklet work together for presenters' preparation and should be considered integral to one other. No document stands on its own from a presenter's preparation viewpoint. Use the view page ___ link above, page by page, to view related Student Workbook pages. Download the 12 page pdf Conflict Management booklet to your desktop, read it once, and have it ready as reference as you proceed with preparation.

EXECUTIVE SUMMARY

Let's Start Listening! <03mit.pdf> (220 KB) [03 LSL] view. Students in groups of four (4) prepare to share a bit about themselves with the other three group members. When their forms are complete, they take turns sharing what they've written with their group as the group takes notes on what is being said. When all four have shared, the group works together to feed back to each what each said. For example, student A listens as B, C & D cooperatively tell A what A said to them (feedback). The goal is to get it all said back correctly to each member in turn. This is a communication & listening exercise. Mediators must listen and take effective notes. To finish, each group member privately notes at bottom how s/he felt about the listening skills of the rest of the group as they reflected what s/he said.

Directions A, B, C, at top, explain what is to be done with this exercise. MITs write directly into their workbooks as they complete questions 1-6. The goal of this exercise is for MITs to write their own information onto the form and to share it verbally with others in their quad. While information is being shared, each in turn by a speaker, the other three listeners take notes in the vertical columns in section B. There should be six items of information for each speaker's column when all four members of the quad have shared. When each person concludes their sharing time, the other MITs say, "Thank you" in an encouraging and kindly manner.

If, by chance, there are more than four MITs in a group, please use the back side of this sheet to record information for that person.

We can begin immediately to practice an eye contact skill necessary in mediation now if your MITs appear ready to do so; this is optional for now and could be addressed later. In a two disputant mediation (the norm) we as mediators spend about 80% of our time in eye contact with the speaker and 20% with the other disputant (listener). In this exercise (if you choose to do so now) we still spend 80% of our time with the speaker, but for purposes of this introductory lesson, we can spend our remaining 20% split between the other two MITs since we have extra participants in this training exercise. Remember, one is speaking while the other three are listening for this exercise and for an MIT to look oneself in the eye may be painful and as Marlene's mother used to say, "Your eyes will get stuck that way." If the MITs appear less than ready for the 80/20 technique, please cover it later during Active Listening stuff. But, please remember to cover it today.

When the speaking process is complete, i.e., all four have spoken, in turn, while the others took notes, we begin a "reflecting back" process for each member of the quad. The student who shared first, now listens as the other three reflect back what that student said regarding the six items. This is done for each of the quad members in the order that they first shared. In each case, the three "listening reflectors" discuss and agree in what was said in order to give the best possible response reflection for each of the six items. The "reflectee" (I just made that up) compares what s/he shared originally with what s/he is now hearing reflected back to her/him. How close do the reflectors come in their reflections?

The (reflectee) listens and mentally gives an evaluative "grade" to the reflectors and then follows up by checking the appropriate line on the bottom of the form LSL. Sharing this impression with the others in the quad is helpful to our mutual growth

Desired outcomes are:
1. concise writing of personal information when completing section A,
2. clear sharing of that information to the other quad members,
3. effective listening, note taking and concluding, "Thank you." by the listeners after each sharing,
4. (optional at this point) effective use of the 80% - 20% eye contact routine,
5. cooperative discussion by "reflectors" of correct feedback to give to "reflectee", and,
6. the experience of being listened to, or not listened to, by others, for each member of the quad.

"Great mediators are great listeners!" is the notation at the page bottom and worth mentioning.

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